Google Glass Ghost Rides the AI Hype Train: $8M to Make Group Chats Even More Unbearable

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, David Petrou, the founding member of Google Goggles and the universally adored (read: forgotten) Google Glass, has secured a cool $8 million to bring AI agents into group chats. Because, clearly, what group chats desperately need is more unsolicited advice from a machine.

Continua, Petrou's latest venture, promises to revolutionize the way we ignore messages in group chats by adding an AI that will also probably ignore you. 'Imagine a world where your group chat not only has your friends leaving you on read but also an AI assistant that pretends it didn’t see your message about pizza toppings,' Petrou explained, presumably while wearing sunglasses indoors.

The AI agents, dubbed 'Chatterboxes', will have the ability to interject with fun facts no one asked for, remind everyone about that one bill that’s due, and, most importantly, suggest emoji combinations that accurately reflect the group's collective despair.

When asked how this differs from existing group chat dynamics, Petrou responded, 'Our AI will at least pretend to care about your weekend plans before changing the subject to crypto.'

Early beta testers have reported mixed feelings. 'It’s like having a know-it-all intern in your group chat, but one that’s also weirdly good at memes,' said one user, who requested anonymity because they’re still recovering from the Google Glass era.

Continua’s roadmap includes features like 'Passive-Aggressive Mode', where the AI will subtly hint that maybe, just maybe, someone should have started that group project by now, and 'Ghosting Prevention', which will automatically send 'You up?' messages at 3 AM to keep the chat alive.

In related news, humanity has reportedly started drafting its resignation letter.