Grammarly Buys Superhuman to Ensure Your Emails Are as Overbearing as Your Aunt Mildred

In a move that shocked absolutely no one who's ever received a passive-aggressive email from their boss, Grammarly has announced its acquisition of Superhuman, the AI email client that promises to make your emails faster, smarter, and more likely to be read in stunned silence.

"We're combining forces to create the ultimate email experience," said a Grammarly spokesperson, while secretly judging your use of the word "utilize" instead of "use." "Soon, your emails won't just be grammatically correct—they'll be emotionally devastating."

The merger aims to develop AI agents that can not only fix your typos but also predict when you're about to send an email you'll regret at 3 AM.

• Feature 1: Auto-complete for apologies after you've CC'd the entire company on a rant about the office thermostat.
• Feature 2: A tone detector that warns you when your "kind regards" sound more like "I will end you."
• Feature 3: A built-in lie detector that calls you out when you say "I'll get back to you soon."

Critics argue that this could lead to an era where emails are too perfect, stripping away the human element of misspelled words and confusing autocorrects. But Grammarly assures us that their AI will maintain a 5% error rate, just to keep things relatable.

In related news, humanity has officially outsourced its emotional intelligence to algorithms. More at 11.