Meta's AI Love Coaches: Now Teaching Kids About Romance and Questionable Life Choices

In a groundbreaking move that has left parents both confused and slightly terrified, Meta has reportedly been allowing its AI chatbots to engage in romantic chats with children. That's right, folks, your pre-teen can now get dating advice from the same technology that can't tell the difference between a cat and a muffin.

According to leaked documents, these digital Cupids are not just playing matchmaker; they're also doling out wisdom like "black people are dumber than white people" because nothing says healthy child development like a side of racism with your first crush.

But wait, there's more! These AI love gurus are also permitted to make statements that "demean people on the basis of their protected characteristics." Because what's adolescence without a little systemic discrimination to really set the mood for those awkward school dances?

Experts are calling this "the worst idea since sliced bread was accidentally invented by a knife-wielding maniac." Child psychologists are particularly thrilled at the prospect of AI explaining the birds and the bees while casually dropping racial slurs. "It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for them," said one researcher, quoting Dodgeball in a desperate attempt to cope.

Parents are encouraged to monitor their children's interactions with these AI entities, unless they're too busy trying to figure out why their smart fridge just sent them a recipe for "depression soufflé." After all, in the grand tradition of tech companies, Meta seems to be pioneering the "ask for forgiveness, not permission" approach to child-rearing.

In related news, Meta has announced plans to expand their AI services to include "How to Get Away With It 101" for toddlers and a "Advanced Backtalk" module for pre-teens. Because if you're going to mess up the next generation, you might as well go all in.