Obvio’s AI Stop Signs: Because Apparently, Red Means 'Go Faster' Now

In a groundbreaking move that has pedestrians everywhere questioning their life choices, San Carlos-based startup Obvio has decided that the best way to make streets safer is to install AI-powered cameras at stop signs. Because nothing says 'safety' like Big Brother watching your every roll-through.

'We’re not creating a panopticon,' said Obvio’s founder, while presumably wearing a tinfoil hat. 'We’re just using advanced AI to judge your driving in real-time. Totally different.'

The system allegedly uses machine learning to identify unsafe drivers, but insiders reveal it’s mostly just angry squirrels pressing buttons whenever they see a car that annoys them.

Here’s how it works:

• You approach a stop sign.
• The AI analyzes whether you’ve come to a complete stop or just did that thing where you slow down and then go.
• If it deems you unworthy, it sends a strongly worded tweet to your mother.

Critics argue that this is just another way for tech companies to monetize our paranoia, but Obvio insists it’s for the greater good. 'Think of the children,' they said, while conveniently ignoring the fact that children can’t afford their subscription-based safety service.

Meanwhile, pedestrians are thrilled at the prospect of being safer, assuming they don’t get hit by drivers too busy arguing with their AI overlord about whether they really stopped or not.

In related news, sales of blackout curtains have skyrocketed, as drivers seek to hide from the ever-watchful eyes of their new stop sign nemeses.