Ai Chips
Selected reporting and mythical analysis on ai chips.
MatX Raises $500M to Build AI Chip That Makes Your Coffee and Forgets Your Name
AI chip startup MatX raises $500M to challenge Nvidia with promises, PowerPoint presentations, and chips that might eventually work. Silicon Valley satire at its finest.
Meta's $100B AMD Chip Deal: Because Buying More Stuff Always Solves AI Problems, Right?
Meta's $100B AMD chip deal for 'personal superintelligence' is satirized as an absurd tech spending spree—because buying more hardware is the secret to AI, right?
Ricursive Intelligence: How Two Guys Who Once Fixed a Printer Raised $335M at a $4B Valuation in 4 Months
Discover how Ricursive Intelligence's founders turned a printer fix into a $4B valuation in 4 months—a satirical take on Silicon Valley's hype-driven funding frenzy.
Positron Raises $230M To Build Chips That Will Definitely, 100% Beat Nvidia (They Promise This Time)
Positron's $230M funding to challenge Nvidia's AI chips gets the satirical treatment. Qatar's investment, questionable strategies, and Silicon Valley absurdity exposed in this hilarious tech takedown.
NordLocker: Because Who Doesn't Want to Encrypt Their Cat Photos?
In a world where even your toaster might be plotting against you, NordLocker steps up to encrypt your files with military-grade algorithms. Now, you can securely store your grocery lists and vacati...
Microsoft Unveils 'Maia' AI Chip That's So Powerful It Might Accidentally Start a Robot Uprising
Microsoft's new Maia AI chip is so powerful it might start a robot uprising—or at least binge-watch Netflix without you. Read our satirical take on this tech marvel that's equal parts genius and absurd.
Nvidia's AI Chips Get a 25% 'Freedom Tax' in China: How Tech Tariffs Are Turning Silicon into Political Pawns
Discover how a 25% tariff on Nvidia's H200 AI chips is turning tech into a geopolitical comedy, with Silicon Valley caught in a trade war farce.
AMD's New AI Chips: Because Your PC Needs Therapy and Your Games Need to Judge You
AMD's new AI processors at CES promise to revolutionize computing by making your PC judgmental about your gaming skills, life choices, and browser history. Because what's better than raw performance? Silicon-based sarcasm.
Nvidia Buys Groq, CEO, and Probably Your Coffee Machine: Tech Giant's Latest Power Move
Nvidia licenses Groq's AI chip tech and hires its CEO in a satirical takeover that cements their silicon supremacy. Read about the hilarious fallout and what it means for your gadgets.
NordStellar's 'Special' Offer: Because Who Doesn't Want to Monitor the Dark Web for Their Leaked Lunch Menu?
In today's digital age, where even your smart toaster could be plotting against you, NordStellar swoops in with their 'special' offer to help businesses monitor the dark web for any mention of thei...
AWS re:Invent 2025: Where AI Learned to Cry and Servers Got Existential
AWS re:Invent 2025 unveils emotional AI, existential servers, and chips that daydream—because the cloud needed a therapist. Satire on tech's wildest conference.
AWS re:Invent 2025: Where the Cloud Got So Big It Might Actually Rain
AWS re:Invent 2025 unleashed a storm of absurd tech innovations, from empathetic AI to party-mode meetings. Dive into this hilarious satire of the cloud giant's latest extravaganza.
Amazon's Trainium3 Chip: Because Your AI Deserves a Fancy New Brain That Still Kinda Likes Nvidia
Amazon's Trainium3 AI chip promises big performance gains and a bizarrely friendly nod to Nvidia. Read our satirical take on the tech world's latest silicon drama.
Pat Gelsinger Bets Big on PowerLattice's Chiplet That Might Just Save the Planet (or at Least Your Laptop Battery)
Ex-Intel CEO Pat Gelsinger invests in PowerLattice's game-changing power-saving chiplet, promising 50% less energy use in a satirical take on tech hype and innovation.
NordPass Business: Because Remembering Passwords Is So 1999
In an era where your smart fridge can order milk but can't remember its own password, NordPass Business swoops in to save the day. Offering seamless password security for your company, it ensures t...
Huawei's AI SuperPoD: Because Who Needs Nvidia When You Can Build a Chip Cluster That Doubles as a Doorstop?
Huawei's new AI SuperPoD technology uses chip clustering to boost compute power in a hilarious response to Nvidia's China ban, offering satire on tech innovation and geopolitics.
IBM and AMD's Quantum Leap: From AI Flops to Quantum Quantum Quandaries
IBM and AMD hilariously pivot to quantum computing after AI failures, promising multiverse solutions and investor confusion in this satirical tech take.
UAE's AI Chip Dreams Hit Pause Button: US Worries They Might Start a Smuggling Ring for Tech-Savvy Camels
The US pauses UAE's Nvidia AI chip deal over fears of China smuggling, possibly via camels. AI-powered falcon racing dreams dashed.