Alphabet
Selected reporting and mythical analysis on alphabet.
Google's Sundar Pichai Gets $692M Pay Package: Enough to Buy a Small Country or Just Fix Search?
Google CEO Sundar Pichai gets a $692 million pay package tied to Waymo and Wing, in a satirical look at tech's absurd corporate rewards and performance incentives.
Google Reclaims Its Lost Child: Intrinsic Robotics Crawls Back to Nest After Five-Year 'Independence' Phase
Intrinsic Robotics ends its five-year 'independence' from Google in a corporate homecoming that's equal parts heartwarming and hilariously predictable. Discover why free cafeterias beat venture capital every time.
Alphabet CEO Dances Around Apple AI Deal Like a Tech-Savvy Mime, Leaves Investors Scratching Their Heads
Alphabet CEO Sundar Pichai's evasive tactics on the Google-Apple AI deal leave investors baffled in this satirical take on tech secrecy and corporate humor.
Google's $32B Wiz Acquisition: Finally, a Solution to the One Problem You Didn't Know You Had
Google's $32B Wiz acquisition gets the green light: a satirical look at how this deal will magically secure your data, with a touch of irony and absurd humor.
NordVPN's Threat Protection Pro™: Because Who Needs a Dedicated Antivirus Anymore?
In a bold move to simplify your cybersecurity shopping list, NordVPN introduces Threat Protection Pro™—a feature that not only encrypts your data but also scans your downloads for malware, blocks m...
Google's New App: Because Who Needs Privacy When You Can Have AI on Your Phone?
Google's latest app lets you run AI models locally on your phone, because who needs privacy when you can have a pocket-sized Skynet?
Waymo's New AI: Watching You Pick Your Nose to Teach Robots How to Live
In a groundbreaking move that straddles the line between innovation and invasion, Waymo has announced plans to use footage from their robotaxis' interior cameras to train generative AI models. That...
Waymo's New AI: Now Watching You Pick Your Nose AND Sell You Ads About It
In a move that surprises absolutely no one who's been paying attention to the dystopian trajectory of tech, Waymo has decided that its robotaxis aren't just for ferrying you from point A to point B...