Apple
Selected reporting and mythical analysis on apple.
Ex-Apple Genius Raises $5M For A Necklace That Forgets Everything But Your Voice: The Ultimate Anti-Smart Device
Ex-Apple engineer raises $5M for the Taya Pendant, a voice-only recording necklace that solves problems you didn't know you had. Discover the absurdity of tech minimalism gone wild.
Apple's AI Wearables: The iThink, iSweat, and iDoubt - Because Your Wrist Needs More Problems
Apple's rumored AI wearables - the iThink, iSweat, and iDoubt - promise to revolutionize how technology judges your every move. Discover how your wrist is about to get sarcastic.
Siri's Latest Delay: Apple's AI Assistant Now So Advanced It's Practically Imaginary
Apple's Siri revamp faces yet another hilarious delay, pushing AI assistant improvements into the realm of fantasy. Discover why Siri's perpetual postponement might be Apple's greatest innovation yet.
Alphabet CEO Dances Around Apple AI Deal Like a Tech-Savvy Mime, Leaves Investors Scratching Their Heads
Alphabet CEO Sundar Pichai's evasive tactics on the Google-Apple AI deal leave investors baffled in this satirical take on tech secrecy and corporate humor.
NordStellar's 'Special' Offer: Because Who Doesn't Want to Monitor the Dark Web for Their Leaked Lunch Menu?
In today's digital age, where even your smart toaster could be plotting against you, NordStellar swoops in with their 'special' offer to help businesses monitor the dark web for any mention of thei...
Xcode 26.3: Now Your Code Writes Itself While You Perfect Your Coffee-Fetching Skills
Xcode 26.3 introduces AI that codes for you, turning developers into prompt whisperers while Claude and Codex debate the meaning of semicolons. Satirical look at the future of programming.
Apple's Whispering AI Purchase: Because Who Needs Loud Anymore?
Apple buys Q.ai to master whisper-tech in the AI race, promising quieter gadgets and absurdly quiet conversations. A satirical take on tech acquisitions.
Apple's 'Creator Studio Pro': Where Your AI Assistant Just Wants to Watch You Struggle Before Helping
Discover Apple's new Creator Studio Pro: an AI tool that helps creators by almost helping, with sarcasm and absurd features that make you question everything except your subscription fee.
Siri's Glow-Up: Apple's Gemini-Powered Assistant Promises to Finally Understand 'What's the Weather?' Instead of Ordering You a Pizza
Apple teams up with Google to give Siri a Gemini-powered brain, promising fewer pizza orders when you ask for the weather. A satirical take on tech's latest 'revolutionary' partnership.
NordPass Business: Because Remembering Passwords Is So 1999
In an era where your smart fridge can order milk but can't remember its own password, NordPass Business swoops in to save the day. Offering seamless password security for your company, it ensures t...
Siri's AI Upgrade: From 'What's the Weather?' to 'What's the Meaning of Life?' and Other Existential Dread in Your Pocket
Apple's Siri is getting an AI chatbot makeover, promising to turn your digital assistant into a philosophical genius—or a passive-aggressive know-it-all. Read our satirical take on the tech upgrade that might make you question everything.
Apple's 'Creator Studio' Bundle: Because Paying $12.99 Monthly Makes You a 'Pro' (Even If You Just Make Cat Videos)
Apple's new Creator Studio bundle promises professional tools for $12.99/month, but is it just a subscription for wannabe influencers? Our satirical take exposes the absurdity.
Google and Apple's AI Alliance: Siri Gets a Gemini Brain Transplant in a Desperate Cry for Help
A hilarious take on Apple and Google's AI partnership, where Siri gets a Gemini brain transplant, leading to absurdly witty and ironic scenarios in the tech world.
Apple's 2024 App Awards: AI Sneaks In Through the Back Door While Siri Watches Jealous From the Shadows
Apple's 2024 App Awards showcase AI everywhere except in name, while Siri has an existential crisis and everyone pretends machine learning is just 'really good programming.'
Skylum's Luminar & X-Membership: Because Your Selfies Deserve a Red Carpet Entrance
In an era where your camera roll looks like a tragic comedy, Skylum’s Luminar teams up with the exclusive X-Membership to transform your humble snapshots into blockbuster-worthy works of art—becaus...
Meta Lures Apple's UI Wizard Alan Dye to 'Innovate' VR Buttons That Do Nothing: A Satirical Take on Tech Poaching
Meta hires Apple's Alan Dye in a satirical look at tech poaching, where VR buttons get a fancy makeover but do little else. Dive into the absurd world of corporate shuffles and overhyped innovations.
Apple Hires Ex-Google/Microsoft 'Spy Chief' for AI Arms Race: The Cupertino Espionage Saga Unfolds
Apple hires ex-Google/Microsoft exec Amar Subramanya as AI chief in a move that's equal parts genius and absurd. Dive into the satirical saga of corporate espionage in Silicon Valley's AI wars.
Apple Declares War on Rogue AI Bots in Hilarious New App Store Crackdown
Apple's new App Store rules hilariously target third-party AI data sharing, promising privacy with a side of sarcasm and absurdity in this satirical tech take.