Capital G
Selected reporting and mythical analysis on capital g.
Stripe Alumni's Duna Raises €30M to Verify That Businesses Exist (Because Apparently That's a Thing Now)
Former Stripe employees raise €30M for Duna, a startup that verifies businesses exist—because in today's tech world, that's apparently a multi-million-euro problem. A satirical take on alumni hype, absurd funding, and AI-driven 'vibe checks.'
Vibe-Coding Startup 'Lovable' Raises $330M at $6.6B Valuation by Promising Developers Can Code While Literally Chilling
Satirical take on Lovable's $330M funding: a vibe-coding startup that values feelings over function, with investors betting big on developer chill over actual code.
Base Power's $1B Battery Boondoggle Promises to Turn Your Home Into a Power-Hungry Beast
Base Power's $1B funding to deploy home batteries everywhere is satirized in this hilarious take on energy tech, featuring exaggerated risks and absurd benefits that will leave you laughing and questioning your power choices.
VCs to AI Startups: 'Show Us the Magic (and the Money)' - A Satirical Guide to Impressing Investors
Discover the hilarious truth about what VCs really want from AI startups, from magic demos to disruptive squirrels, in this satirical take on the tech funding circus.
NordStellar's 'Special' Offer: Because Who Doesn't Want to Monitor the Dark Web for Their Leaked Lunch Menu?
In today's digital age, where even your smart toaster could be plotting against you, NordStellar swoops in with their 'special' offer to help businesses monitor the dark web for any mention of thei...
Clay's Valuation Soars to $3B Because Apparently, Dirt is the New Gold
Clay, the sales automation startup, has miraculously doubled its valuation to $3B, proving that in Silicon Valley, even dirt can be worth billions if you sprinkle enough buzzwords on it.
Investing in AI Startups: Because Who Needs Sleep When You Can Have Existential Dread?
Dive into the hilariously risky world of AI startup investments, where today's innovation is tomorrow's antique, and due diligence requires a psychic. Perfect for those who love adrenaline and uncertainty.