Cryptocurrency
Selected reporting and mythical analysis on cryptocurrency.
Crypto Hackers Pocket $2.7B in 2025, Achieve 'Most Theft Ever' Hat-Trick in Digital Currency Heist Olympics
Crypto hackers break theft records again in 2025, stealing $2.7B in a hilarious display of digital incompetence and irony. Read our satirical take on the never-ending heist saga.
Coinbase's 'Definitely Not a Re-Launch' Re-Launch in India: Because Third Time's the Charm in Crypto Chaos
Coinbase's hilarious third attempt to conquer India's crypto market, featuring staggered relaunches, absurd job roles, and promises of fiat on-ramps that might just be blockchain dreams.
North Korea's Crypto Heist Hits $2 Billion: Kim Jong-un Now Accepting Bitcoin for Nuclear Missiles
North Korean hackers steal $2 billion in crypto in 2025, sparking satire on their digital heists, blockchain security, and Kim Jong-un's absurd funding schemes. Read this hilarious take on cybercrime gone wild!
Winklevoss Twins’ Gemini Crypto IPO: Because One Twin Wasn’t Enough to Handle the Drama
The Winklevoss twins are at it again with Gemini's IPO, proving that when it comes to crypto, the drama never stops. Read on for a satirical take on what could be the most entertaining IPO since Pets.com.
NordLocker: Because Who Doesn't Want to Encrypt Their Cat Photos?
In a world where even your toaster might be plotting against you, NordLocker steps up to encrypt your files with military-grade algorithms. Now, you can securely store your grocery lists and vacati...