Data Centers
Selected reporting and mythical analysis on data centers.
Sheryl Sandberg and Nick Clegg Join 'Stargate Norway' AI Startup Nscale: Because What Tech Needs Is More Politicians On Boards
Sheryl Sandberg and Nick Clegg join Nscale's board as the AI startup hits a $14.6B valuation. Satirical tech news on 'Stargate Norway' hype, political appointments, and absurd funding rounds.
Sink or Compute: Aikido’s Aquatic Data Centers Make the Deep Blue Sea Your New IT Department
Aikido floats a data center under an offshore wind turbine, bringing sarcasm and sea spray to tech innovation. Dive into the absurdity of aquatic computing!
Google Spends $1B on Battery That Can Power Your Smartphone For An Entire Weekend (Theoretically)
Google drops $1B on a battery that lasts 100 hours. Is it a renewable energy breakthrough or just a really big power bank? Our satirical take on the tech deal of the decade.
Meta's $100B AMD Chip Deal: Because Buying More Stuff Always Solves AI Problems, Right?
Meta's $100B AMD chip deal for 'personal superintelligence' is satirized as an absurd tech spending spree—because buying more hardware is the secret to AI, right?
NordVPN: Because Who Doesn't Love Adding Extra Layers to Their Already Complicated Digital Lives?
In a world where your refrigerator might be spying on you, NordVPN heroically steps in to encrypt your every move. With over 7,000 servers worldwide, because who doesn't need that many options to w...
Tesla Escapee's 'Grid-Altering' Startup Raises $140M to Build Yet Another Giga-Thing That Definitely Won't Be a Crypto Mine
Tesla alum Drew Baglino raises $140M for Heron Power's 'grid-altering' tech and giga-factory plans in this satirical take on climate tech funding madness. Is this revolutionary or just another Silicon Valley hype machine?
DG Matrix Raises $60M to Teach Data Centers How to Share: The Power-Hungry Startup's Quest to Make Electricity Less Boring
DG Matrix raises $60M to teach data centers how to share energy, with smart transformers that might just be too clever for their own good. A satirical look at tech hype and power management.
AI Data Centers Are Literally Draining Our Grid: Peak XV Bets $15M on Startup Promising Magic Electricity
AI data centers are draining the grid, but startup C2i just got $15M to fix it with a 'grid-to-GPU' approach. Read our satirical take on this electrifying tech drama.
Elon Musk's Orbital Data Centers: Because Earth's Servers Just Aren't Extraterrestrial Enough
Elon Musk plans orbital AI data centers in space, promising zero latency and infinite cooling. Satirical take on tech's wildest ambitions.
NordLocker: Because Who Doesn't Want to Encrypt Their Cat Photos?
In a world where even your toaster might be plotting against you, NordLocker steps up to encrypt your files with military-grade algorithms. Now, you can securely store your grocery lists and vacati...
AI Infrastructure Boom: Chipmakers Now Building Data Centers So Powerful They Might Accidentally Solve Climate Change
Chipmakers are investing billions in AI infrastructure so advanced it might accidentally solve unrelated problems. Our satirical look at the silicon arms race where data centers get their own zip codes and AIs develop meaningful relationships with data.
Mark Zuckerberg's AI Power Grab: Meta to Harness the Sun, Moon, and Your Data to Fuel World-Dominating AI
Meta's new AI infrastructure initiative promises to consume more energy than a small star, all while trying to save the world with ads and sarcasm-free algorithms. Read our satirical take on Zuckerberg's latest power play.
Meta's Nuclear Power Deal: Because Running a Metaverse on Hamster Wheels Just Wasn't Cutting It
Meta's hilarious nuclear power deal with Oklo, TerraPower, and Vistra for 6+ GW: because powering the Metaverse requires more than just good intentions and bad VR.
Last Energy's Steel-Cased Micro Reactor: Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong? (They've Got $100 Million to Find Out)
Satirical take on Last Energy's $100M micro reactor: a Texas-sized experiment in nuclear humor. Will it power homes or just glow in the dark? Read our hilariously critical breakdown.
NordStellar's 'Special' Offer: Because Who Doesn't Want to Monitor the Dark Web for Their Leaked Lunch Menu?
In today's digital age, where even your smart toaster could be plotting against you, NordStellar swoops in with their 'special' offer to help businesses monitor the dark web for any mention of thei...
Hard Hats and AI Bots: Construction Workers Now Making Six Figures to Yell at Concrete While Tech Bros Watch
Construction workers are suddenly tech's highest-paid employees as AI companies desperately build data centers. Read about the hilarious culture clash and absurd salaries in this satirical take on the AI construction boom.
Data Centers to Power the Sun: How 300% More Energy Will Save the Planet (By Accident)
Data centers are set to consume 300% more energy by 2035, turning electricity bills into sci-fi adventures and grid monitors into comedians. Dive into this satirical take on tech's power-hungry future.
Lambda Raises $1.5B in AI Deal with Microsoft: Servers Now Plotting World Domination
Lambda's $1.5B funding surge with Microsoft sparks AI data center hilarity: servers get smarter, investors get richer, and world domination jokes abound.