Database Management
Selected reporting and mythical analysis on database management.
AI
Dec 16, 2025Databricks Cashes $4B 'Monopoly Money' Round: AI Now Worth More Than Actual Intelligence
Databricks' $4 billion funding at a $134 billion valuation proves AI is now more valuable than common sense. Our satirical take on tech's money-printing madness.
AI
Nov 18, 2025Databricks Unveils Revolutionary Funding Strategy: Paying Investors in AI-Generated Hugs and Unicorn Tears
Databricks is in talks for a $130B+ funding round, satirizing tech hype with AI hugs, unicorn tears, and absurd investor logic in this hilarious take.