Enterprise
Selected reporting and mythical analysis on enterprise.
How to Watch Jensen Huang's Nvidia GTC 2026 Keynote: A Survival Guide for the AI-Apocalypse Enthusiast
A hilarious survival guide to watching Nvidia's GTC 2026 keynote with Jensen Huang, packed with satire, tech humor, and tips for enduring the AI hype tsunami.
Atlassian Cuts Staff to Feed AI Overlords: 'They Prefer Binary Code to People Anyway'
Atlassian fires 1,600 staff to fund AI, sparking a hilarious yet terrifying look at the future of work where machines might just replace us all. Read this satirical take on tech layoffs and AI madness.
Wonderful's $150M 'Series B' Actually Just Means They Found A Bigger Money Printer
Wonderful's $150M Series B at a $2B valuation is either genius or madness—find out how they're printing money without making any in this satirical tech takedown.
Thinking Machines Lab Inks Deal with Nvidia: Enough Power to Run a City, or Just Your Next AI Cat Meme?
Thinking Machines Lab and Nvidia strike a gigawatt deal so massive, it could power a city or just generate endless AI memes. Satire on tech's absurd power plays.
Skylum's Luminar & X-Membership: Because Your Selfies Deserve a Red Carpet Entrance
In an era where your camera roll looks like a tragic comedy, Skylum’s Luminar teams up with the exclusive X-Membership to transform your humble snapshots into blockbuster-worthy works of art—becaus...
Sheryl Sandberg and Nick Clegg Join 'Stargate Norway' AI Startup Nscale: Because What Tech Needs Is More Politicians On Boards
Sheryl Sandberg and Nick Clegg join Nscale's board as the AI startup hits a $14.6B valuation. Satirical tech news on 'Stargate Norway' hype, political appointments, and absurd funding rounds.
How 1,000+ Awkward Customer Calls Magically Transformed into an 'AI Revolution' (Or So They Say)
Discover how 1,000+ customer service calls 'magically' birthed an AI startup in this satirical take on tech innovation. Spoiler: It's mostly buzzwords and wishful thinking.
Google Spends $1B on Battery That Can Power Your Smartphone For An Entire Weekend (Theoretically)
Google drops $1B on a battery that lasts 100 hours. Is it a renewable energy breakthrough or just a really big power bank? Our satirical take on the tech deal of the decade.
Trace Raises $3M to Solve AI Agent Adoption Problem That Nobody Actually Has (Yet)
Trace secures $3M to tackle the hilarious 'AI agent adoption crisis' in enterprises, proving that in tech, you can fundraise against problems that don't even exist yet. A satirical take on Silicon Valley's love for invented dilemmas.
NordVPN's Threat Protection Pro™: Because Who Needs a Dedicated Antivirus Anymore?
In a bold move to simplify your cybersecurity shopping list, NordVPN introduces Threat Protection Pro™—a feature that not only encrypts your data but also scans your downloads for malware, blocks m...
Marc Benioff Declares Victory in the Great SaaSpocalypse War: A Tale of AI, Earnings, and Eternal Optimism
Join Marc Benioff in his hilarious battle against the AI apocalypse as Salesforce reports solid earnings and unveils absurd survival tactics in this satirical tech news piece.
Google Reclaims Its Lost Child: Intrinsic Robotics Crawls Back to Nest After Five-Year 'Independence' Phase
Intrinsic Robotics ends its five-year 'independence' from Google in a corporate homecoming that's equal parts heartwarming and hilariously predictable. Discover why free cafeterias beat venture capital every time.
Jira's AI Agents Now Demand Coffee Breaks and Better Office Chairs: A Satirical Look at Our New Digital Coworkers
Atlassian's Jira now lets AI agents work alongside humans in a hilarious new update. Discover the absurd realities of digital coworkers demanding coffee breaks and office chairs in this satirical tech take.
Meta's $100B AMD Chip Deal: Because Buying More Stuff Always Solves AI Problems, Right?
Meta's $100B AMD chip deal for 'personal superintelligence' is satirized as an absurd tech spending spree—because buying more hardware is the secret to AI, right?
NordVPN: Because Who Doesn't Love Adding Extra Layers to Their Already Complicated Digital Lives?
In a world where your refrigerator might be spying on you, NordVPN heroically steps in to encrypt your every move. With over 7,000 servers worldwide, because who doesn't need that many options to w...
New Relic's AI Agents Now Blaming Developers for Bugs, Announces 'Observability Therapy' for Traumatized Code
New Relic's latest AI agents don't just monitor your systems—they judge them mercilessly. Discover the future of passive-aggressive observability and emotional support for traumatized code.
Nimble Raises $47 Million So AI Can Finally Figure Out If That 'Miracle Cure' Article Is Actually From The Onion
Nimble's $47M funding lets AI finally fact-check the internet's nonsense. Discover how algorithms are learning sarcasm, avoiding conspiracy theories, and organizing chaos into neat tables.
General Catalyst Announces $5B 'Monsoon Money' Plan to Fund Every Indian Startup That Can Spell 'VC'
General Catalyst's $5B India pledge sparks a satirical look at venture capital madness, unicorn inflation, and the coming flood of food delivery apps. Because apparently, what India really needs is 17 different Uber-for-cows services.