Lightspeed Venture Capital
Selected reporting and mythical analysis on lightspeed venture capital.
AI
Dec 15, 2025Lightspeed Raises $9 Billion to Fund AI Startups That Definitely Won't Just Burn Cash and Disappear
Lightspeed's $9 billion fundraise promises to fuel AI startups that might just change the world—or at least your grocery list. A hilarious look at Silicon Valley's obsession with cash-burning innovation.
AI
Oct 3, 2025Naveen Rao's AI Hardware Startup Aims for $5B Valuation with Magic Beans and a16z's Backing
Naveen Rao's AI hardware startup, backed by a16z, aims for a $5B valuation with emotionally intelligent chips and absurd fundraising tactics. A satirical look at tech hype gone wild.