Lowercarbon Capital
Selected reporting and mythical analysis on lowercarbon capital.
Avalanche's Micro-Fusion: Powering Your Toaster with the Energy of a Star (Maybe)
Avalanche's $29M 'tabletop fusion' startup aims to shrink the sun into a coffee-table device—because why solve energy crises when you can create a radioactive paperweight? Satire on tech's miniaturization obsession.
Quilt's $20M Series B: Because Your Home Needs Another Appliance That Talks Back
Quilt raises $20M to expand heat pump sales, but is your home ready for an AI that critiques your temperature preferences? Read our satirical take on smart home absurdity.
Arbor's 'Vegetarian Rocket Engine' Devours Gas: The Shocking Truth About Eco-Friendly Power Plants
Discover how Arbor Energy's 'vegetarian' power plant secretly burns natural gas, blending eco-hype with fossil fuels in this satirical tech expose.
Earthmover's Grand Plan: To Become the Snowflake of Weather Data, Because Who Needs Actual Snow?
Earthmover aims to be the Snowflake of weather data with a $7.2M seed round, blending satire and tech insights for a laugh-filled read on data-driven meteorology.
NordVPN: Because Who Doesn't Love Adding Extra Layers to Their Already Complicated Digital Lives?
In a world where your refrigerator might be spying on you, NordVPN heroically steps in to encrypt your every move. With over 7,000 servers worldwide, because who doesn't need that many options to w...