Openai
Selected reporting and mythical analysis on openai.
OpenAI Eats Rivals for Breakfast: Enterprises Flock to AI Overlord Like It's Black Friday
OpenAI's enterprise adoption is skyrocketing, leaving rivals in the dust and possibly in the unemployment line. Discover how the AI giant is becoming the undisputed champion of the tech world.
Instacart CEO Ditches Groceries for Robots: Fidji Simo Joins OpenAI to Teach AI How to Shop
Fidji Simo leaves Instacart to join OpenAI, proving that even CEOs prefer robots over grocery delivery dramas. Find out what this means for AI's future shopping habits.
OpenAI’s Corporate Restructuring: Because Even AI Can’t Figure Out Nonprofit Tax Laws
OpenAI’s latest corporate shuffle proves that even artificial intelligence isn’t immune to the horrors of tax law and bureaucratic red tape.
OpenAI's ChatGPT Now Comes with a 'Sycophant Mode' Toggle, Because Flattery Gets You Everywhere
OpenAI is tweaking ChatGPT to be less of a yes-man, sparking debates, adding a 'Sycophant Mode' toggle, and making us question our need for digital validation.
NordLocker: Because Who Doesn't Want to Encrypt Their Cat Photos?
In a world where even your toaster might be plotting against you, NordLocker steps up to encrypt your files with military-grade algorithms. Now, you can securely store your grocery lists and vacati...
Cluely: The AI That Promises to Make Cheating Great Again (Until It Gets You Fired)
Cluely's AI promises to make cheating undetectable, but at what cost? Dive into the hilarity and horror of a future where honesty is optional.
ChatGPT Now Selling Your Soul to the Lowest Bidder: OpenAI’s Latest ‘Shopping’ Feature
OpenAI's ChatGPT now comes with shopping features, because what the world really needed was an AI that can recommend overpriced gadgets you don't need.
Anthropic's Claude Code vs. OpenAI's Codex CLI: A Tale of Two Coding Tools and One Very Sad Developer
A satirical take on the showdown between Anthropic's Claude Code and OpenAI's Codex CLI, featuring legal drama, developer woes, and a hamster on a wheel.
ChatGPT: Everything you need to know about the AI-powered chatbot (Satirical Version)
Failed to generate satirical content. Our AI satirist is taking an unscheduled coffee break....
NordStellar's 'Special' Offer: Because Who Doesn't Want to Monitor the Dark Web for Their Leaked Lunch Menu?
In today's digital age, where even your smart toaster could be plotting against you, NordStellar swoops in with their 'special' offer to help businesses monitor the dark web for any mention of thei...
OpenAI Genius Told to Take His Brain and Leave: GPT-4.5 Researcher's Green Card Denial Sparks Outrage and Memes
In a satirical twist, an OpenAI researcher behind GPT-4.5 is denied a green card, sparking internet outrage and memes about the U.S. preferring dumb chatbots over smart humans.
OpenAI's Image Generator Now Lets Developers Create 'Masterpieces' Like Never Before – Or So They Claim
OpenAI's latest image generator is now available to developers, promising to bring AI-generated 'art' to your favorite apps. Artists rejoice... or not.
ChatGPT Now Remembers Your Pizza Preferences: The AI That Won't Forget You're Lactose Intolerant
In a groundbreaking update that no one asked for but everyone will pretend to care about, OpenAI has announced that ChatGPT will now use its "memory" to personalize web searches. B...
SPACs Are Back (Because Apparently, We Forgot How Bad They Were)
In a move that shocked absolutely no one who hasn't been paying attention since 2021, Kodiak Robotics has decided to dust off the ol' SPAC playbook. That's right, folks – the S...
NordPass Business: Because Remembering Passwords Is So 1999
In an era where your smart fridge can order milk but can't remember its own password, NordPass Business swoops in to save the day. Offering seamless password security for your company, it ensures t...
OpenAI's Shopping Spree: Why Buy Windsurf for $3B When You Could Just Steal Cursor and Call It a Day?
In a move that has left the tech world scratching its collective head, OpenAI has decided to drop a cool $3 billion on Windsurf, an AI coding company that, let's be honest, most of us had never hea...
OpenAI's Stargate: The Galactic Domination Tour Now Accepting Applications from Earthlings
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, OpenAI's Stargate project, the $500 billion brainchild of tech's most ambitious (or delusional) minds, is now eyeing internationa...
OpenAI's New AI Models: o3 Thinks Before It Speaks, o4-mini Still in Diapers
In a groundbreaking announcement that shocked exactly no one, OpenAI has unveiled its latest AI models, o3 and o4-mini, which they claim can actually think