Robotics
Selected reporting and mythical analysis on robotics.
Rivian's 'Mind Robotics' Raises $500M So Robots Can Finally Stop Complaining About Assembly Line Breaks
Rivian's Mind Robotics raises $500M for AI-powered robots that might unionize or write poetry. Satire on tech funding absurdities and automation gone wild.
Canopii's Robot Farmers: Because Lettuce Clearly Needs More Automation Than Your Smart Toaster
Canopii's robotic farms promise to revolutionize indoor agriculture with AI-powered lettuce therapists and kale compliance monitors. Because what could possibly go wrong when machines grow your greens?
Qualcomm and Neura Robotics Join Forces: The Beginning of Your Robot Overlord's Coffee-Fetching Empire
Qualcomm and Neura Robotics team up to create AI-powered robots with a sarcastic twist. Will your new robot butler fetch coffee or judge your life? Read our hilarious take on this tech partnership.
Anduril's $60 Billion Valuation Quest: When Your Defense Tech Dreams Are Funded by Unicorns and Monopoly Money
Anduril's quest for a $60 billion valuation in its latest funding round is a hilarious satire on Silicon Valley's obsession with inflated numbers and defense tech absurdity.
NordLocker: Because Who Doesn't Want to Encrypt Their Cat Photos?
In a world where even your toaster might be plotting against you, NordLocker steps up to encrypt your files with military-grade algorithms. Now, you can securely store your grocery lists and vacati...
Google Reclaims Its Lost Child: Intrinsic Robotics Crawls Back to Nest After Five-Year 'Independence' Phase
Intrinsic Robotics ends its five-year 'independence' from Google in a corporate homecoming that's equal parts heartwarming and hilariously predictable. Discover why free cafeterias beat venture capital every time.
Amazon's Blue Jay Robotics Project Gets the Axe in Record Time: A Tragi-Comedy of Tech Hubris
Amazon's Blue Jay robotics project crashed after less than 6 months—discover the hilarious mishaps, corporate spin, and robots with existential crises in this satirical tech breakdown.
Boston Dynamics CEO Robert Playter 'Steps Down' After 30 Years - Or Was He Gently Pushed by a Spot Robot?
Robert Playter leaves Boston Dynamics after 30 years - but did the robots finally outsmart their creator? A satirical look at the future of human employment when machines can do backflips and probably your job too.
Carbon Robotics' Plant Whisperer AI: Finally, a Machine That Can Tell Your Petunia From Your Problem
Carbon Robotics' new AI model can identify plants so farmers don't have to. Finally, technology catches up to what toddlers have been doing for centuries.
NordStellar's 'Special' Offer: Because Who Doesn't Want to Monitor the Dark Web for Their Leaked Lunch Menu?
In today's digital age, where even your smart toaster could be plotting against you, NordStellar swoops in with their 'special' offer to help businesses monitor the dark web for any mention of thei...
Physical Intelligence: Silicon Valley's Bold Quest to Build Robot Brains That Might Actually Remember Where They Put Your Coffee
Silicon Valley's Physical Intelligence startup promises robot brains with emotional depth and existential crises. Will they revolutionize tech or just get lost in your garage?
Anduril's Drone Deathmatch: Win a Job or Die Trying in Palmer Luckey's Latest Silicon Valley Stunt
Anduril's insane drone contest turns job interviews into a high-flying battle royale, where software programmers fight for employment in Palmer Luckey's latest tech stunt. Read our satirical take on this Silicon Valley absurdity.
Skild AI's Robots Now Valued at $14B - Still Can't Open a Jar or Fold Laundry
Skild AI hits $14B valuation for robots that might do everything but currently accomplish nothing. Silicon Valley's latest expensive solution in search of a problem.
1X's Robot 'World Model' Released: Teaching Your Toaster to Understand Existential Dread
1X releases a 'world model' for robots to learn what they see, leading to existential dread in toasters and philosophical debates in factories. Satirical tech news at its finest!
NordPass Business: Because Remembering Passwords Is So 1999
In an era where your smart fridge can order milk but can't remember its own password, NordPass Business swoops in to save the day. Offering seamless password security for your company, it ensures t...
CES 2026: Nvidia's AI Toaster, AMD's Chip Salad, and Razer's Emotional Gaming Mouse Revealed in Hilarious Tech Circus
CES 2026 unveils hilarious tech absurdities: Nvidia's AI toaster burns bread artistically, AMD's chips demand union rights, and Razer's mouse cries with gamers. Read our satirical take on the wildest gadgets from Las Vegas!
CES 2026: Robots Finally Outnumber Humans in Las Vegas, AI Announces It's Taking a Well-Deserved Vacation
CES 2026 coverage reveals robots unionizing, AI taking gap years, and smart appliances offering unsolicited life advice. Join our satirical live updates from the consumer tech apocalypse.
CES 2026: Nvidia's AI Toaster, AMD's Chipzilla, and Razer's AI Pet Rock Unveiled in Vegas Spectacle
CES 2026 delivers hilarious tech reveals: Nvidia's AI Toaster, AMD's Chipzilla, and Razer's AI Pet Rock steal the show in this satirical take on Vegas's biggest electronics spectacle.