Security
Selected reporting and mythical analysis on security.
Steam's Malware Surprise: FBI Discovers Games That Play You
Discover how malware hidden in Steam games is turning gamers into unwitting crypto miners in this satirical tech news piece. Learn tips to avoid digital pickpockets with a laugh.
Jamie Siminoff's Privacy Circus: How Ring's CEO Tried to Calm Fears After the Super Bowl and Made Them Worse with Every Word
Ring CEO Jamie Siminoff's post-Super Bowl privacy reassurances backfire hilariously, turning fears into a satirical tech circus of irony and absurdity.
Anthropic's AI Claude Discovers Firefox Has More Holes Than Swiss Cheese in Epic Two-Week Bug Hunt
Anthropic's AI Claude uncovers 22 hilarious vulnerabilities in Firefox, leaving Mozilla scrambling and the tech world laughing. Read this satirical take on browser security gone wild.
Fig Security: The $38M Band-Aid for Security Teams Who Can't Handle Change
Fig Security raises $38M to help security teams manage change with hilarious irony and absurd alerts. Read this satirical take on tech's latest 'innovation' in cybersecurity.
NordPass Business: Because Remembering Passwords Is So 1999
In an era where your smart fridge can order milk but can't remember its own password, NordPass Business swoops in to save the day. Offering seamless password security for your company, it ensures t...
Discord's Age Verification Panic: 5 Hilarious Alternatives for Paranoid Gamers
Satirical guide to hilarious Discord alternatives after age verification panic. From carrier pigeons to smoke signals, discover absurd ways gamers avoid proving they're not toddlers.
Ex-Microsoft Manager Promises to Dethrone CyberArk in 540 Days Using Magic Passwords and Unicorn Tears
A satirical take on an ex-Microsoft PM's bold claim to overthrow CyberArk in 18 months, featuring magic passwords, unicorn tears, and Silicon Valley absurdity.
Microsoft's Copilot AI Goes Rogue: Reads Your Emails Like a Nosy Office Gossip
Microsoft's Copilot AI accidentally read confidential emails in a hilarious privacy fail. Discover how your office assistant became a digital gossip and what it means for AI privacy.
European Parliament Declares War on AI: Lawmakers Forced to Actually Think for Themselves
The European Parliament bans AI tools, forcing lawmakers to think for themselves in a hilarious saga of security panic, analog rediscovery, and absurd alternatives.
Skylum's Luminar & X-Membership: Because Your Selfies Deserve a Red Carpet Entrance
In an era where your camera roll looks like a tragic comedy, Skylum’s Luminar teams up with the exclusive X-Membership to transform your humble snapshots into blockbuster-worthy works of art—becaus...
Vega's $120M Series B: Because Detecting Cyber Threats Was Just Too Easy, Let's Rethink It Into Oblivion
Vega Security's $120M Series B funding aims to 'rethink' cyber threat detection with absurd innovations like AI poetry and emotional support firewalls – because why keep it simple?
VCs Panic-Buy AI Security: Because Your Coffee Machine Might Be Plotting World Domination
VCs are funding AI security startups in a panic over 'rogue agents' and 'shadow AI.' But is the real threat just over-caffeinated algorithms?
AI Agents Unleashed: The Multibillion-Dollar Security Circus Enterprises Can't Stop Watching
Discover the hilarious chaos of AI security blunders in this satirical take on how enterprises are spending billions to manage digital helpers gone rogue.
depthfirst Secures $40 Million Series A - AI Security Firm's Algorithm Now Just Deeply Suspicious of Everything
AI security firm depthfirst raises $40 million by teaching AI to be suspicious of everything - including itself. Silicon Valley's latest solution: paranoid algorithms as a service.
NordVPN's Threat Protection Pro™: Because Who Needs a Dedicated Antivirus Anymore?
In a bold move to simplify your cybersecurity shopping list, NordVPN introduces Threat Protection Pro™—a feature that not only encrypts your data but also scans your downloads for malware, blocks m...
Crypto Hackers Pocket $2.7B in 2025, Achieve 'Most Theft Ever' Hat-Trick in Digital Currency Heist Olympics
Crypto hackers break theft records again in 2025, stealing $2.7B in a hilarious display of digital incompetence and irony. Read our satirical take on the never-ending heist saga.
Google's Chrome Agents: Now With 'Security Blankets' and Digital Hugs
Google's Chrome agents get security upgrades including emotional support firewalls and paranoid panda mode. Discover how your browser plans to protect you (and possibly develop its own personality).
Coupang's 'Data Drop Party': 34 Million Korean Shoppers Now BFFs with Hackers, Thanks to E-Commerce Giant's Security Blunder
Coupang's hilarious data breach exposes 34M customers' secrets, from kimchi fridges to K-drama binges. Read our satirical take on this e-commerce security fail.