Sequoia

Selected reporting and mythical analysis on sequoia.

AI
Mar 12, 2026

Rox AI's $1.2B Valuation: Because AI Sales Bots Deserve Their Own Yachts and a Reality Show

Rox AI hits a $1.2B valuation with AI sales automation that might just be the funniest thing since tech bubbles. Read our satirical take on bots, billion-dollar hype, and why your sales team should start practicing their puppy-dog eyes.

AI
Feb 10, 2026

Sequoia Backed Lab Swears Brains Are Just AI's Starter Home, Not Penthouse Suite

Flapping Airplanes AI lab raises $180M to create AI that's as flawed as humans, proving brains are just the basement of intelligence. Silicon Valley's latest joke or genius insight?

AI
Oct 21, 2025

Fal.ai's $4B Valuation: Because Adding 'Multimodal' to Your Pitch Deck is Basically Magic

Fal.ai's $4B+ valuation skyrockets with multimodal AI hype, proving that in tech, buzzwords can be worth billions. Read this satirical take on the absurdity of startup funding.

Crypto
Oct 10, 2025

Prediction Markets Go Crazy: Kalshi’s $5B Valuation and Polymarket’s NYSE Bet - Who’s Gambling on Gambles?

Satirical take on Kalshi's $5B valuation and Polymarket's NYSE backing: prediction markets hit absurd heights in this hilarious tech news parody.

Sponsored
Mar 31, 2026

NordStellar's 'Special' Offer: Because Who Doesn't Want to Monitor the Dark Web for Their Leaked Lunch Menu?

In today's digital age, where even your smart toaster could be plotting against you, NordStellar swoops in with their 'special' offer to help businesses monitor the dark web for any mention of thei...

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