Thrive Capital
Selected reporting and mythical analysis on thrive capital.
Anduril's $60 Billion Valuation Quest: When Your Defense Tech Dreams Are Funded by Unicorns and Monopoly Money
Anduril's quest for a $60 billion valuation in its latest funding round is a hilarious satire on Silicon Valley's obsession with inflated numbers and defense tech absurdity.
Physical Intelligence: Silicon Valley's Bold Quest to Build Robot Brains That Might Actually Remember Where They Put Your Coffee
Silicon Valley's Physical Intelligence startup promises robot brains with emotional depth and existential crises. Will they revolutionize tech or just get lost in your garage?
Base Power's $1B Battery Boondoggle Promises to Turn Your Home Into a Power-Hungry Beast
Base Power's $1B funding to deploy home batteries everywhere is satirized in this hilarious take on energy tech, featuring exaggerated risks and absurd benefits that will leave you laughing and questioning your power choices.
Cursor’s Anysphere Hits $9.9B Valuation: Now Worth More Than Small Countries
Cursor’s Anysphere's $9.9B valuation has everyone questioning reality. How does a 3-year-old startup soar past $500M ARR? Magic, probably.
Skylum's Luminar & X-Membership: Because Your Selfies Deserve a Red Carpet Entrance
In an era where your camera roll looks like a tragic comedy, Skylum’s Luminar teams up with the exclusive X-Membership to transform your humble snapshots into blockbuster-worthy works of art—becaus...
AI to the Rescue: Console's $6.2M Miracle Cure for IT Teams Who Just Can't Even Anymore
Console's $6.2M AI solution promises to free IT teams from mundane tasks, but will it really save them from their existential dread? Find out in this hilariously satirical take.