Venture Capital
Selected reporting and mythical analysis on venture capital.
VCs Predict Strong Enterprise AI Adoption Next Year — For the 47th Consecutive Year
VCs predict enterprise AI adoption for the 47th straight year in this hilarious satire about tech predictions, AI implementation fails, and buzzword bingo in corporate America.
Equity's 2026 Prophecies: AI Agents That Make Coffee, IPO Mania for Pet Rock Startups, and VC Investing in Your Thoughts
Dive into Equity's hilarious 2026 predictions: AI agents that critique your coffee, absurd IPOs for smart rocks, and VCs investing in emoji pitches. A satirical take on tech's wild future.
VCs Use 'Kingmaking' Strategy to Crown AI Winners Before They Even Know How to Code
VCs are using 'kingmaking' strategies to crown AI winners before they even have a product, leading to hilarious investments based on vibes and buzzwords. Read this satirical take on tech funding absurdity.
Why Humanoid Robots Are About as Useful as a Chocolate Teapot in a Heatwave
Discover why humanoid robots are failing hilariously at basic tasks like dexterity, in this satirical take on tech hype and robotic ineptitude that will leave you laughing and questioning AI investments.
NordStellar's 'Special' Offer: Because Who Doesn't Want to Monitor the Dark Web for Their Leaked Lunch Menu?
In today's digital age, where even your smart toaster could be plotting against you, NordStellar swoops in with their 'special' offer to help businesses monitor the dark web for any mention of thei...
Startups Weekly: Faster Than a Speeding Bullet, But With More Ping Pong Tables
This week in startups: valuations skyrocket, defense tech sizzles, and ping pong remains undefeated. A satirical take on the fast-paced world of tech startups.
Venture Capitalists Speak in Tongues: A Divine Comedy of Mixed Signals
Welcome to Startups Weekly — the only newsletter that deciphers the enigmatic hieroglyphics of venture capital so you don't have to. Want this wisdom delivered directly to your cer...
Startups Weekly: The Blockbuster Nobody Asked For - Rippling's Espionage Saga
Welcome to Startups Weekly, the only newsletter that promises to deliver less news and more drama than your average soap opera. This week, we're diving into the thrilling ...
Mercury's Valuation Soars to Interstellar Heights, Leaving Earthly Logic Behind
In a week where the laws of physics and finance were apparently suspended, Mercury decided that doubling its valuation wasn't enough—it had to more than double it, because why not?...
NordPass Business: Because Remembering Passwords Is So 1999
In an era where your smart fridge can order milk but can't remember its own password, NordPass Business swoops in to save the day. Offering seamless password security for your company, it ensures t...