Wearables
Selected reporting and mythical analysis on wearables.
Ex-Apple Genius Raises $5M For A Necklace That Forgets Everything But Your Voice: The Ultimate Anti-Smart Device
Ex-Apple engineer raises $5M for the Taya Pendant, a voice-only recording necklace that solves problems you didn't know you had. Discover the absurdity of tech minimalism gone wild.
Sandbar's $23M AI Note-Taking Ring: Because Your Finger Needed Its Own Startup
Discover the hilarious truth behind Sandbar's $23M AI note-taking ring funding. Is it innovation or absurdity? Read our satirical take on wearable tech gone wild.
CUDIS Ring: The AI Coach That Shames You Into Health With Digital Gold Stars
CUDIS launches a satirical health ring with an AI coach that shames you into wellness, offering points for kale chips. A witty take on wearable tech absurdity.
Oura's New AI: The Period-Predicting Pundit That Knows You Better Than You Do
Oura's new AI model for women's health promises to predict everything from periods to menopause, with satirical insights on tech's latest overreach into personal wellness.
NordLocker: Because Who Doesn't Want to Encrypt Their Cat Photos?
In a world where even your toaster might be plotting against you, NordLocker steps up to encrypt your files with military-grade algorithms. Now, you can securely store your grocery lists and vacati...
Apple's AI Wearables: The iThink, iSweat, and iDoubt - Because Your Wrist Needs More Problems
Apple's rumored AI wearables - the iThink, iSweat, and iDoubt - promise to revolutionize how technology judges your every move. Discover how your wrist is about to get sarcastic.
AI Wearables That Steal Your Soul (And Your Data): A Hilarious Guide to High-Tech Hype
Discover the hilarious truth behind AI wearables like Bee, Friend, and Plaud in this satirical tech review—because who needs real friends when gadgets can judge you?
Oura CEO's Cloud of Wearables: Because Your Sleep Data Needs to Be in the Pentagon's Dreams
Oura CEO Tom Hale hilariously defends partnerships with the DoD and Palantir, promising a future where your wearable data joins a 'cloud' that might just save the world—or spy on your dreams.