Apple's AI 'Answer Engine': Because Siri Wasn't Confusing Enough

In a move that has shocked absolutely no one, Apple is reportedly working on its own AI 'answer engine' to compete with ChatGPT. Because what the world needs right now is another tech giant telling us what to think, but with better emoji integration.

According to unnamed sources who may or may not exist, this new AI will be 'lightweight,' which in Apple terms means it will only take up 90% of your iPhone's storage and require a monthly subscription fee to access more than three answers per day.

Features we can expect from Apple's AI:

• The ability to answer questions with the same confidence as Siri, but with 10% more corporate buzzwords.
• Exclusive integration with Apple Maps, so when you ask for directions, it will still take you to the wrong place but now with a snarky comment about your life choices.
• A premium tier that promises to 'think different' but actually just gives you the same answers as the free version, just in a nicer font.

Industry experts (read: people on Twitter) are divided on whether this will be the next big thing or just another way for Apple to remind us that we're holding our phones wrong. Either way, we can't wait to see how this plays out in the inevitable keynote presentation that's 30% longer than it needs to be.

In related news, Google has announced they're working on an AI that can accurately predict when you'll give up on Apple's AI and just Google it anyway.