Ambiq's IPO So High It Needs a Oxygen Mask: Chipmaker's Stock Climbs Like It's on Silicon Steroids

In a turn of events that has left Wall Street both baffled and slightly aroused, Ambiq, the chipmaker that's been around since the dawn of time (or 15 years, which in tech years is basically the same), saw its shares skyrocket a whopping 61% on its IPO debut. That's right, folks, the company's stock climbed so high it's now considering hiring Sherpas to help investors reach its peak.

Backed by Kleiner Perkins, a venture capital firm that apparently has the Midas touch but for silicon, Ambiq has become the belle of the ball in a market that's currently obsessed with anything that can compute faster than a snail on sedatives. "We're just thrilled," said a spokesperson for Ambiq, who was last seen floating several feet above the ground due to sheer euphoria.

Analysts are attributing this meteoric rise to the fact that Ambiq's chips are so energy-efficient, they could probably run on the hopes and dreams of startup founders. "These chips don't just sip power, they take the tiniest of nibbles," explained one tech enthusiast, who may or may not have been under the influence of something stronger than coffee.

Meanwhile, amateur investors who missed the boat are now frantically searching for the next big thing, with rumors swirling that a company making "smart" spoons (because regular spoons are just too dumb) is gearing up for its IPO. Will it soar like Ambiq or flop like Google Glass? Only time, and perhaps the collective delirium of the market, will tell.

In related news, Kleiner Perkins has announced it's now only investing in companies whose names start with 'A', because clearly, that's the secret sauce to success in today's economy.