Meta’s New ‘Superintelligence’ Lab: Because Regular Intelligence Was Too Last Season

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Mark Zuckerberg has decided that Facebook’s parent company, Meta, needs to dive even deeper into the world of artificial intelligence. Because, you know, the metaverse wasn’t enough of a money pit. The latest venture? A ‘superintelligence’ lab. That’s right, folks. Not just intelligence. Superintelligence.

According to sources who probably regretted speaking on the condition of anonymity, Zuck has been hand-picking the brightest minds in AI to join this elite squad. Among them is Scale AI’s Alexandr Wang, who presumably was chosen after winning a intense round of AI Hunger Games.

But what exactly is ‘superintelligence’? Well, if you’re expecting a clear answer, you’re probably not superintelligent enough to be in this lab. Rumor has it that the lab’s first project will be an AI that can finally explain Zuckerberg’s facial expressions during congressional hearings.

The lab’s mission statement, leaked by a janitor who overheard Zuck muttering to himself, is to create AI that’s ‘smarter than humans but still not smart enough to ask for a raise.’ Ambitious, we know.

Critics argue that Meta should focus on fixing its existing platforms before creating skynet. But let’s be real, when has Zuckerberg ever listened to critics? Or logic? Or basic human decency?

So, what can we expect from this lab? Probably a lot of buzzwords, a few PR disasters, and an AI that accidentally reveals it’s been running Facebook this whole time. Stay tuned!